Most people do not realize that pain and/chronic illness has two layers: the pain itself, and the loneliness and isolation that chronic pain/illness brings.

Is there a purpose of Pain and Suffering? 

This article may help someone transform their pain into a deeper meaning.

The goal of the article is not to educate everyone on all illnesses or offer solutions, but to offer understanding of what chronic pain and illnesses may be like so you can better support your family, friends, and community.

Possible Deeper Purposes of Your Suffering:

1. Empathy Expansion

After being sick in the hospital on and off when I was in my 20s and 30s due to severe anaphylaxis (allergic reactions) and having to navigate my health, it taught me how to understand the struggle my Grandmother was going through when she explained to me that she had Parkinson’s Disease (understanding the depth of it really unfolded over time). I used to not know what it was like to struggle or suffer or go to scary appointments so if someone said something, I wouldn’t know what to say.

I think many people who haven’t experienced hospital visits and tests would not really know what to say or think. The experiences I had allowed me to be there for my Grandmother and also comfort her in ways I wouldn’t know she needed if I had not been through some things myself.

It is important to not invalidate someone when they tell you something about their health or pain. For example, “You will be fine,” or “It is not that bad…”or “At least you ____ or don’t ____.” Being silent or ignoring what they said is also invalidating. Some people change the subject.

From the perspective of the person sharing, silence can convey a lack of care, interest, or empathy, making them feel unseen and their experience dismissed. This lack of acknowledgment can be deeply hurtful, especially during or after a difficult health situation when support is needed most. A simple acknowledgment like, “I’m sorry to hear that; I hope you are doing okay,” can make a significant difference in making someone feel heard and valued.

Some examples of validating responses are:

“I can see that this is a lot to deal with.”

Legitimizing: “Your symptoms are real, even if the tests don’t explain them yet.”

Empathy: “That sounds uncomfortable and frustrating. I understand why you’d be concerned.”

Supportive curiosity: “Tell me more about when this happens so I can understand better.”

Partnership: “Let’s track this together so we can give your provider a clear picture.”

Respecting effort: “You’ve done a lot of work to monitor this.”

Safety‑anchored: “If it feels worse or changes suddenly, it’s important to reach out right away.”

After having chronic pain the last few years too, I realized suffering helped me have an idea of the isolation chronic pain can cause. I also met a technician at a CT Scan whose brother has Chron’s Disease and his brother went on to be a Gastroenterologist to help others with the same condition he has. We were talking about how isolating illnesses can be and it is hard to even tell someone the struggle and often, they don’t understand. No one wants a food restriction so if they mention they cannot eat something, it is likely for a good reason.

How can we turn our Pain and Suffering into meaning that better serves us and others?

Try to see how any pain you had or a failure, a loss can have meaning and help you understand others. How can it help you respond to others who are suffering? Sometimes giving a deeper meaning to the pain is helpful because it feels the pain was not in vain or senseless. Turning pain intro transformation can benefit anyone whether you suffered a loss of a job or if you suffer from a chronic illness. Especially because chronic pain and illness feel so out of control. When we give meaning to our suffering, it can help us manage the loss we feel.

When we receive validating support from someone, it can make us truly feel seen and relieve some of the burden.